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However, creating this intimacy is hard work and much harder than the easy escapism of the internet or watching TV or even over-working or domestic chores.Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.
Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.
It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.
I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.
Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.
To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).
How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.